Bittersweet Memories

Lovers leave but the heart remains
Each moments indeed precious
They flashes like movie scenes
Romance - comedy - thriller - fairytales
All cuts thought us about life

Love tastes like a dark chocolate
Within sweetness, bitterness exists 
Like the saddest movies
Either leaving or left behind
It happened to grow us stronger

Either sweet or bitter
We have to move to the next scenes 

For the film to keep rolling
Let the movie plays til THE END
THE END is not the ending 

I’m here...

It took a few seconds to fall for you

Thousand minutes to build trust on you

Thousand hours to decide on you

Once I made up my mind

You are the only one in my world

Because the journey for it was long

Others say “you’re a fool”

Yes, I’m a fool for you

I wish I could show you this foolish heart

You say “just move on”

Yes, I’ll move on but not right now

Only my heart can decide when

But I want you to know

Until my heart stops beating for you

I’m here and will always be...

10.05.2021

00:00

Black Withered Rose

In a warm breezy land

Roses bloom in the meadow

The weeds live side by side

and the leaves fluttering on its trees

The red, pink, white roses are happily dancing

Duet with colorful butterflies

Their beauty is amazing 

Other creatures watching in jealousy 

In a thorny bush

There is a black withered rose

Long for a male butterfly to bring colors

Shower love for her to bloom again

One lonely day,

She saw a gloomy butterfly

His colors not as bright as others

But she finds him unusually vivid

All his action charms her

From the way he swims through the air

To the way he rest on the leaf

One by one,

She bashfully open her petals

Welcoming only for his visit 

When he lands on her petals,

A little shade of red blushes

When he disappears, she wither

When he’s around, she bloom

She realises he is her duet

She wants to dance with him

Unfortunately,

The butterfly longing for a forbidden rose

Which has pierced it’s wings

With a wound, he flutters alone

She said: You can come to me,

Who only bloom for you

I will mend your broken wings

She is a black rose

And he is a gloomy butterfly

United, they can color each other with their own palette 

Will you turn her black into red?

Nightmare

Where am I?

I see him lying there

I have to run to him

but my feet are burried here

I struggle to escape

I cry for help

But not even a soul in sight

I can only watch him from far

His breathing is getting weaker 

I am scared and I cannot do anything 

In tears, I pray to God

“Dear God! You can take anything from me, except him. Please save him!”

Suddenly I woke up

in a deep silent night

Thanks God!

It’s only a nightmare

Still,

My heart doesn’t feel good

Is it a good sign?

or is it a bad sign?

I hope

It’s all just a bad dream

When he smiles…

I feel like the time is frozen, 

It flows only for us

I only see him

I only hear him

I can sense his breathing, and

I can feel my heart beating wildly

But he looks calm and uninterested

Maybe to him I’m just so called ‘friend’

Is it ok if I want to be more than that?

Is it possible for us to be together?

I always wonder if you miss me

as much as I miss you

😢

HEART

Easy to fell in love 

But hard to be pleased

Easy to be hurt

But hard to be heal

Easy to be broken 

But hard to be mend

When the heart beats 

The blood flows 

When the heart hurts

The tears flow

When the heart is broken

the whole body is paralyzed

Dear HEART, 

why him?

Friend-zoned worst than rejection

Being rejected?

I can just cry it all out

Wipe my tears 

Then move on

Being friend-zoned?

I’m stuck in between; 

Shall I move on or

I have to try harder

Should I just be frank and confess to him?

Should I just back off and let him go?

But I don’t want to lose him

Dear God! Please show me the way

He is an esctacy

Just by the thought of meeting him 

My heart beating abnormally

My mind goes crazy

My sleep becomes restless

It’s D-day!

I am excited, but

I am also anxious

What will his impression on me?

It’s him! 

He’s now in front of me

I’m esctatic

I’m star-struck

My heart racing

My mind blank

My hands shaking

My body weaken

I don’t even dare to look at him

But I love those feelings

Because of his presence 

He is my ecstacy!

Memory: 7/3/2021 12.00-3pm 

Silence

Thousands of words couldn’t explain a silence

But a silence speaks thousands of meanings

And those meanings contain thousands of emotions and feelings

Sometimes

You just have to remain silent and smile

because no words can explain what is going on in your mind and heart

Silence is a medicine to your soul

You can listen to your heart

Find answers and learn from it

But when overdose

Silence can also be a poison

That spreads to your heart and brain

Silently killing you from inside

Find your inner peace in silence

But don’t let it ruin you  

What if?

Like a kid waiting for her sweets

I excitedly waited for his texts

Which I felt sweeter than the sweets

I fell to his kindness

Is he really honest?

I love his care

Is he really care?

I can’t bare this feeling any longer

Can I just tell him the truth?

But the anxiety inside is stopping me

What if his feeling not the same?

What if he went out off radar?

What if his view on me changes?

Dear God! I know I’m greedy

Please open his heart for me

And accept me for who I am

I don’t want to lose this kind servant of Yours